Grungy look #2: Driving home from a weekend in Chicago.

As usual, I spent the weekend at my boyfriend's apartment, thus having to plan outfits according to our schedule. That night, we went to the opening of the 50 Alderman/50 Artists exhibit at Johalla Projects(Packed! We had to wait in line 20 minutes just to get in!), so I wore a cute new skirt from Anthropologie and platform mary janes (which are unfortunately close to death). A snow storm was predicted for Saturday and Sunday (Saturday, yes; today, no). We were going to another opening (Phyllis Bramson and Judith Geichman at Carrie Secrist Gallery)and meeting our friend for dinner and drinks afterward, so I wanted to wear something nice, but I also needed the proper footwear for walking in snow. All I have are a pair of black rubber wellies that I've been wearing to the stable, thus covered with dried mud from getting horses from the pens (boy are those pens muddy!) and duck style boots. Neither were proper attire for those events, but since I was too lazy to clean the rubber boots and was certain that the duck boots were in my trunk, I decided to go with those. However, I got to Chicago only to find that the boots were NOT in my trunk, and I forgot to put my jeans in my suitcase. So I borrowed a pair of Gabe's roommate's jeans for the weekend, and fortunately, though not perfect for snow, I did have my Frye boots in my car. So this is what I wore for the drive home (sorry for the darkness of the photos):

Sunglasses: Anthropologie
Prescription Glasses: Lucky
Coat: Latte by Coffeeshop via Mod Cloth
Satchel: Cambridge Satchel Company
Suitcase: vintage Samsonite via Cracker Jax
Boots: Frye
Sweater: Lux scavenged from Gabe's roommate's closet, likely via Urban Outfitters
Skirt: Eva Franco via Anthropologie

I have to wear my glasses when I drive; I've been out of contact lenses for a really long time. Since Gabe discovered this, he lectures me about it. After a particularly bad night driving in Chicago missing street signs (I didn't know where I was going) and nearly missing people crossing the street (I suspect there is an organization of people that like to wear black and walk in front of cars for fun), I'm being more mindful of wearing my glasses. Thanks to daylight savings time, driving westbound, and having visors that don't cover much of my windshield, I resorted to wearing my sunglasses over my regular glasses. Very uncomfortable.

Anyway, I thought I looked amusing and wanted to share. Actually, on my way to 290, the 2 lane road merged, and a woman on her cell phone didn't realize it and nearly sideswiped me. I honked and gave her a look...then realized how ridiculous I looked with my glasses. Oh well, I'll never see her again anyway.

Who's there?

I fell in love with Joanna Newsom's music because of a boy. I had heard "The Sprout and the Bean," but it didn't connect with me; I was ambivalent. This guy I had just met was a huge fan but very shy, and told me that she was playing that night. He wanted to go, but not by himself. So of course I offered to go to spend time with him. Mission accomplished, but her performance was so incredible. He offered to burn The Milk-Eyed Mender for me and it was just about all I listened to for several months.

Anyway, I've been listening to Have One on Me almost exclusively since it came out, and I do love it but it wasn't as instantaneous as with her other releases. That's partly due to its length and number of songs. I think a few of the songs could have been released independently as an EP. Anyway, my love for the record was reinvigorated by Newsom's recent performance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. She played "Soft as Chalk" which I hadn't spent much time with. But her performance was so wonderful, and I immediately began listening to the song with more interest. Someone posted the video on YouTube, and I've rewatched it several times. Whomever posted it also posted the lyrics. I've always loved her lyrics, but I really wanted to read them in a normal sentence structure instead of a liner note one. So here are the lyrics for "Soft as Chalk" as I have interpreted them, as well as the video from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

So so long ago and so far away, when time was just a line that you fed me when you wanted to stay, we'd talk as soft as chalk ‘til morning came, as pale as a pearl. No time, no, no time; now, I have got all the time in the world.

Say, honey, did you belong to me? Tell me, honey, was your heart at rest when, darling, all the mourning doves were howling us a song of love's oh god-awful lawlessness, lawlessness? Say, honey, did you belong to me? Tell me, honey, did I pass your test? I lay as still as death until the dawn, whereupon I wrested from your god-awful lawlessness, lawlessness.

I roam around the tidy grounds of my dappled sanatorium. Coatless, I sit amongst the moles adrift and I dote upon my pinesap gum. And the light through the pines in brassy tines lays over me dim as rum and thick as molasses. And so time passes and so, my heart, tomorrow comes.

I feel you, leaning out back with the crickets, loyal heart marking the soon-ness darkness tonight. Still, the mourning doves will summon us their song of love's never-doneing lawlessness, lawlessness.

While over and over, rear up, stand down, lay round trying to sound-out or guess the reasons to sleep like a soldier without rest. But there is no treason where there is only lawlessness, lawlessness.

In the last week of the last year, I was aware. I took a blind shot across the creek at the black bear when he roused me in the night and left me cowering with my light calling out, “Who is there? Who's there? Who is there?”

I watched you sleep repeating my prayer. Give love a little shove and it becomes terror. And now I am calling in a sadness beyond anger and beyond fear, “Who is there? Who's there? Who is there?”

I glare and nod like the character, God, bearing down upon the houses and lawns. I knew a little bit, but, darling, you were it, and, darling, now it is long gone. Sweetheart, in your clean, bright start back there behind a hill, and a dell, and a state line or two, I'll be thinking of you; yes, I’ll be thinking and be wishing you well. We land. I stand, but I wait for the sound of the bell. I have to catch a cab and my bags are at the carousel. And then Lord, just then, time alone will only tell, you mourning dove.

Have I mentioned that I've had trouble writing?

I can talk all I want, but for some reason, writing has been difficult. It's upsetting because my friend who lives in LA and I had gotten in the habit of writing letters, but I get halfway through and just can't finish. I can record myself talking, but for some reason, my photo booth software stops recording at random times. Not sure why, since I've recorded videos over 15 minutes long before. I keep meaning to put a new battery in my digital voice recorder...I should do that now.
Anyway, I'm not necessarily depressed but I'm not feeling like going out into the real world. I was thinking about that with my posts about wanting to put up pictures of my outfits. The last time I regularly took outfit photos was when I first moved here and didn't have many friends. I had what was at the time a nice quality camera phone, and that was one way I entertained myself.

I've just been watching a lot of movies. My favorite so far is the original Salem's Lot miniseries from the '70s. My sleeping schedule is really messed up and in turn makes me messed up. I haven't been to the stable in two weeks and I don't have money to take a riding lesson. I should email the stable owner to let her know that I'll be in to volunteer next week. I'm scheduled to help out with this semester's NIU Beginning Horseback riding class. Perhaps I'll be able to exercise some of the horses that haven't been ridden much lately before newcomers get on them.

Alrighty, audio diary time.