Lost in transition.

Change is definitely a good thing. I'm all for change. However, lately, my life seems like it's just non-stop change and I'm barely keeping up.

I've been toying with whether I want this to be a personal blog or a professional one. I'm trying on my business clothes, and I'm don't think that what I've been writing is the appropriate attire. However, I think I'll keep this personal; after all, it's called "It builds character." When I feel like it, I can start something about art/museums/exhibits/curating/cataloguing/etc. I'm going to an opening on Friday night and the College Arts Association convention is next week. I'm working on a resumé-style website.
I bought a briefcase and a suit. It's serious.

Then there are days like yesterday and today which make me feel...a bit hopeless. I hardly had anything to eat yesterday morning; I'm supposed to eat before I take one of my 4 medications. I felt like a big cottonball. Then I forgot to take my anti-anxiety medication, and I couldn't sleep until I did because my heart was pumping so hard. When I woke up this morning, I had a terrible headache, my throat hurt, and I felt so weak. I tried getting ready for work as usual, but the feeling of passing out never ceased. So I didn't go to work, even though I have a million things to catch up on. I wonder if I'm capable of having a full time job sometimes. But this is new, and I've been put in a strange position at work. And I'm sick of grad school. I feel like it's holding me back, keeping me in perpetual adolescence. If it wasn't for my thesis, I'd consider just quitting. The best thing that's happened from it is getting involved in the art museum world.

1 comment:

  1. i've had similar thoughts about my blog here -- whether to make it personal or professional (whatever that means). it's been hard maintaining both this blog and my blog over at myspace simply because i don't know what to post where.

    as far as jobs go, full-time definitely takes some getting used to. even though i was only working an extra two hours during the day, the day felt like it took forever. i would burn out and be basically useless by the time 2:30 or 3:00 rolled around. it was especially rough during the winter; i hated leaving work when it was dark. personally, i've been quite happy since my return to part-time. the smaller pay check and lack of benefits kinda sucks, but the extra hour of sleep is nice. plus, there's more time for stuff outside of work, like wedding planning. ;) when i was full-time, it felt like it took ALL my time. sounds silly, but that's what it felt like. so it's hard to really be upset about the change.

    my work experience aside, i really hope your job at the museum works out because it sounds like it's a perfect fit for your talents. and it's in a field that you really love, which makes it all the better. :)